FACT CHECK: shrewd reader pointed out that this was actually in the New Yorker and was written by a 44-year-old. Here is a baffling quote:
"Summer-camp mania feels, instead, like a much more typical corrosion of modern life. Although many of us have stopped believing the myths that places like TIP and the bucolic summer camp tell us about the competition our children will face, we cannot stop sending our kids to them because we cannot conceive of an unscheduled moment. Nor can we explain why things have to be this way. This is just how kids grow up now, and we feel powerless to find an alternative because we cannot take the week off to even figure out what it might be."
I cannot emphasize enough how much I am not trying to engineer my kids' social mobility by putting them in Y camp.
I had to find out if this man has a child. He apparently has a seven-year-old. HUH. I'm going to (perhaps uncharitably, but also likely accurately) guess that his wife is managing all the camp stuff so the distinctions are a bit lost on him.
I am baffled that you have had not one, but at least two people give you a sanctimonious reason why they unsubscribed, rather than just unsubscribing and moving on. Don't folks know that you can just not read a thing if it isn't your bag??
Seems fair. This person could have really found something else as an outlet rather than telling you they weren't here for your content. Far as I can figure, you love having three kids, it's just (gestures wildly) everything else that is hard and odd these days.
I deeply relate to loving the kids you have, loving being a parent, and feeling rage as hot as a million suns of the "systems" we have in this country to support kids and working parents. The U.S. is a decrepit backwater and we are allowed to be mad about the ways it impacts our lives, saps our energy, and shapes our kids' childhoods.
I haven't stopped thinking about that Eden Lepucki piece because now that I'm no longer hustling to get tenure (ASSOCIATE!) it is technically possible for me to be home with my son a lot during the summers but it's going to be a shock to the system. Plus it will mean not getting as much writing done which will feel bad even if it won't be fatal career-wise. But I'm also somewhat beguiled by having a kind of throwback summer with my kid. This is his last year of full-time preschool (we also haven't figured out aftercare for him in the fall which is GULP) so we'll see what shakes out next year.
This is so hilarious...and also made me feel guilty for being a teacher and getting the summer with my kids. I don't know how you non-teacher-parents do it :(
I am also a teacher, and I personally dislike the agrarian calendar! I always tell people that teachers work on ~192 day contracts and the government refuses to extend it bc they’re cheap! It’s not good for anyone. Unfortunately the perception of “getting the summers off” is ingrained as a “perk” of the job.
Related, I send my son to preschool over the summer bc we have to pay for his spot regardless, and I feel the judgment every time someone asks!
As a counter to that person unsubbed – I signed up to your newsletter BECAUSE you made being a parent sound like fun at a time where I really needed to hear it.
I had also read Edan's piece and thought it was great, and also was silently so jealous of even having that option (even though let's be real I'd absolutely be sick as hell of my kids after 2 weeks but I'm projecting into a future in which, like you said - they're a lot more fun to hang out with)
Do not stop writing about this shit place we ended up in thanks to the GI bill. I love my kid, I loathe the camp schedule, I cheered when the district added two extra weeks in August to the school year this year.
My youngest is still in daycare but I’ve been experimenting with keeping my eldest at home (Desi’s age) in these last few gap weeks of summer. It’s not going terribly or great, I work from home and she is very bored but she is fine and I think it’s somewhat good for them to be bored?! We will see! She did go to camp most of the summer but it’s over now and I can’t afford more camps.
FACT CHECK: shrewd reader pointed out that this was actually in the New Yorker and was written by a 44-year-old. Here is a baffling quote:
"Summer-camp mania feels, instead, like a much more typical corrosion of modern life. Although many of us have stopped believing the myths that places like TIP and the bucolic summer camp tell us about the competition our children will face, we cannot stop sending our kids to them because we cannot conceive of an unscheduled moment. Nor can we explain why things have to be this way. This is just how kids grow up now, and we feel powerless to find an alternative because we cannot take the week off to even figure out what it might be."
I cannot emphasize enough how much I am not trying to engineer my kids' social mobility by putting them in Y camp.
Here is the full piece: https://www.newyorker.com/news/fault-lines/summer-camp-and-parenting-panics
Very careless conflation of traditional sleepaway camps, which are often about shoring up social class, and summer day camp.
I had to find out if this man has a child. He apparently has a seven-year-old. HUH. I'm going to (perhaps uncharitably, but also likely accurately) guess that his wife is managing all the camp stuff so the distinctions are a bit lost on him.
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I am baffled that you have had not one, but at least two people give you a sanctimonious reason why they unsubscribed, rather than just unsubscribing and moving on. Don't folks know that you can just not read a thing if it isn't your bag??
Oh, this is from the same person, I'm just obviously still mad haha
Seems fair. This person could have really found something else as an outlet rather than telling you they weren't here for your content. Far as I can figure, you love having three kids, it's just (gestures wildly) everything else that is hard and odd these days.
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I deeply relate to loving the kids you have, loving being a parent, and feeling rage as hot as a million suns of the "systems" we have in this country to support kids and working parents. The U.S. is a decrepit backwater and we are allowed to be mad about the ways it impacts our lives, saps our energy, and shapes our kids' childhoods.
I haven't stopped thinking about that Eden Lepucki piece because now that I'm no longer hustling to get tenure (ASSOCIATE!) it is technically possible for me to be home with my son a lot during the summers but it's going to be a shock to the system. Plus it will mean not getting as much writing done which will feel bad even if it won't be fatal career-wise. But I'm also somewhat beguiled by having a kind of throwback summer with my kid. This is his last year of full-time preschool (we also haven't figured out aftercare for him in the fall which is GULP) so we'll see what shakes out next year.
I am so hopeful that if Nick gets tenure he can hang out with the kids more in the summer!
He probably won’t be able to check out of work entirely, but it’ll be easier to do things like half days. At least that’s what I’m banking on.
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This is so hilarious...and also made me feel guilty for being a teacher and getting the summer with my kids. I don't know how you non-teacher-parents do it :(
I am also a teacher, and I personally dislike the agrarian calendar! I always tell people that teachers work on ~192 day contracts and the government refuses to extend it bc they’re cheap! It’s not good for anyone. Unfortunately the perception of “getting the summers off” is ingrained as a “perk” of the job.
Related, I send my son to preschool over the summer bc we have to pay for his spot regardless, and I feel the judgment every time someone asks!
I know many teachers who feel this way and who also keep their little kids in their daycare/preschool over the summer! I rebuke their judgement haha
True, true. I've filled in the summer pay gap with teaching summer school and writing, so there is that.
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Amen to all of this.
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As a counter to that person unsubbed – I signed up to your newsletter BECAUSE you made being a parent sound like fun at a time where I really needed to hear it.
🥺 thank you!!!
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I had also read Edan's piece and thought it was great, and also was silently so jealous of even having that option (even though let's be real I'd absolutely be sick as hell of my kids after 2 weeks but I'm projecting into a future in which, like you said - they're a lot more fun to hang out with)
I also feel strongly that you can love and adore your children but also not want to spend 16 hours a day with them. 🫠
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Do not stop writing about this shit place we ended up in thanks to the GI bill. I love my kid, I loathe the camp schedule, I cheered when the district added two extra weeks in August to the school year this year.
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My youngest is still in daycare but I’ve been experimenting with keeping my eldest at home (Desi’s age) in these last few gap weeks of summer. It’s not going terribly or great, I work from home and she is very bored but she is fine and I think it’s somewhat good for them to be bored?! We will see! She did go to camp most of the summer but it’s over now and I can’t afford more camps.
Desi is home this week too! It's fine. He's kind of bored but he kind of loves it.
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