My mother mourned our baby and toddler years like we died and we all HATED it. But my son is getting ready to go to kindergarten and I know I'm going to sob at his preschool graduation even though the hater in me rejects the whole notion of caps and gowns on children this age. Those sleepless first 8-months were a misery (Ferber saved me) but I so wish I could go back in time for just one day knowing that it all changes and have my Emily in "Our Town" moment.
At one point I caught my then 3 year old (when she didn't know I was listening) tell her baby brother that he needed to stop growing because mommy doesn't want him to get big. YIKES. I've tried to tamp down the impulse to express this sentiment openly since then, but it's HARD.
I have to say, my older kids aging out of HA pajamas GOT ME (and like you, I didn’t mourn the passing of tiny-babyhood). I generally really love each passing older phase more than the ones that came before—with the exception of 6-7, I think; I’m now blurry on when my older kids were most annoying but number 3 is BRUTALIZING me as we wrap up 1st grade. My mom has always raved about having adult kids, and I appreciate it because I think it has built a framework for me to be able to metabolize their growth with things to look forward to later? But my oldest is almost 14 and just today I washed some new pairs of *men’s medium* pajama pants for him and put away some outgrown HA’s from the 7 year old and it really does feel like the Little Kid years are fading fast.
(For those with preschoolers, the single best thing I ever did was start a new note in my phone’s Notes app every year and jot down the best things they said as they happened. No baby books or anything around here but the quote notes are very popular! (I wish I’d taken more video of their funny little voices!))
this really hit fresh off my child-related existential crisis this week (10 year old graduating from elementary school). he also never slept as a newborn and i prefer the school-aged years but now he has braces and i am the "welled up eyes emoji" all the time.
"I love babies but the reason they make them with those huge Bratz doll eyeballs and Shar Pei rolls is because of how hard it is. The mental and physical exhaustion is like a low-grade gas leak that isn’t killing you but is making you very sluggish and a little dumb." -- this is the most accurate thing ever written.
I never really got weepy about my daughter growing up -- great, please wipe your own butt, fix your own waffle, etc -- and was mostly not too bugged about her younger brother growing up. But! She is about to be 19, a rising sophomore in college, and this first year of her out of the house and just him at home has really hit me. There's a big gap between them, he's only 8 years old, but I think back to when she was 8 and those 10 years just flew.
He's still so sweet and cuddly and likes talking to me. I'm trying to bottle it all up while I can.
My kid is 11 and while I try very hard to treat her like the competent, smart tween that she is, it's hard to let go of her babyhood. And it's hard to adapt! I used to roll my eyes when my mom kept reading the menu to me and my siblings up through high school but now that I have a kid of my own, I get it
my youngest realized that her older brother dropped the -y when addressing us this school year and now I have a precocious seven year old calling me dad and that is too fucking early I'm sorry.
We just did the 5th grade graduation and as a lifelong hater of ceremony and a decade plus hater of all school programs that aren't performances starring my kid I was totally surprised when I cried about my son getting the leadership award. I didn't cry at either of my grandparents' funerals.
Evie even that PHOTO of Dumbo was terrorism like please
My mother mourned our baby and toddler years like we died and we all HATED it. But my son is getting ready to go to kindergarten and I know I'm going to sob at his preschool graduation even though the hater in me rejects the whole notion of caps and gowns on children this age. Those sleepless first 8-months were a misery (Ferber saved me) but I so wish I could go back in time for just one day knowing that it all changes and have my Emily in "Our Town" moment.
I used to hate the graduation before 12th grade thing, too, but with America being America... it doesn't bother me the way it used to.
At one point I caught my then 3 year old (when she didn't know I was listening) tell her baby brother that he needed to stop growing because mommy doesn't want him to get big. YIKES. I've tried to tamp down the impulse to express this sentiment openly since then, but it's HARD.
I have to say, my older kids aging out of HA pajamas GOT ME (and like you, I didn’t mourn the passing of tiny-babyhood). I generally really love each passing older phase more than the ones that came before—with the exception of 6-7, I think; I’m now blurry on when my older kids were most annoying but number 3 is BRUTALIZING me as we wrap up 1st grade. My mom has always raved about having adult kids, and I appreciate it because I think it has built a framework for me to be able to metabolize their growth with things to look forward to later? But my oldest is almost 14 and just today I washed some new pairs of *men’s medium* pajama pants for him and put away some outgrown HA’s from the 7 year old and it really does feel like the Little Kid years are fading fast.
(For those with preschoolers, the single best thing I ever did was start a new note in my phone’s Notes app every year and jot down the best things they said as they happened. No baby books or anything around here but the quote notes are very popular! (I wish I’d taken more video of their funny little voices!))
this really hit fresh off my child-related existential crisis this week (10 year old graduating from elementary school). he also never slept as a newborn and i prefer the school-aged years but now he has braces and i am the "welled up eyes emoji" all the time.
I am constantly staring at this child wistfully!!!
"I love babies but the reason they make them with those huge Bratz doll eyeballs and Shar Pei rolls is because of how hard it is. The mental and physical exhaustion is like a low-grade gas leak that isn’t killing you but is making you very sluggish and a little dumb." -- this is the most accurate thing ever written.
My daughter is days away from turning nine and I am feeling ALL OF THIS.
Pretty sure I write a version of this essay in my head every single day.
I never really got weepy about my daughter growing up -- great, please wipe your own butt, fix your own waffle, etc -- and was mostly not too bugged about her younger brother growing up. But! She is about to be 19, a rising sophomore in college, and this first year of her out of the house and just him at home has really hit me. There's a big gap between them, he's only 8 years old, but I think back to when she was 8 and those 10 years just flew.
He's still so sweet and cuddly and likes talking to me. I'm trying to bottle it all up while I can.
RELATE RELATE RELATE RELATE (except very MUCH BEMOANED/ING the end of baby/toddler times, too........)
I loved this ❤️ especially your paragraph about pregnancy and babyhood going by slowly, that has definitely been my experience as well!
My kid is 11 and while I try very hard to treat her like the competent, smart tween that she is, it's hard to let go of her babyhood. And it's hard to adapt! I used to roll my eyes when my mom kept reading the menu to me and my siblings up through high school but now that I have a kid of my own, I get it
my youngest realized that her older brother dropped the -y when addressing us this school year and now I have a precocious seven year old calling me dad and that is too fucking early I'm sorry.
We just did the 5th grade graduation and as a lifelong hater of ceremony and a decade plus hater of all school programs that aren't performances starring my kid I was totally surprised when I cried about my son getting the leadership award. I didn't cry at either of my grandparents' funerals.
Not our little guys at freshman orientation, just barely 18 years old 🥺
Another perfect essay, I'm in love with your writing!
Gah. Got me right in the heart