Everything Happened | vol. 176
What it's like for your embryo transfer to be indefinitely postponed due to Covid
Yesterday was the first day of indefinite working from home… with children. I would say it went “well”, but that’s because Nick didn’t really take a work shift. I got my temporary…or is it…office set up in the bedroom and holed up there until noon. When I emerged, Nick and the kids had already eaten lunch and were out on a long walk in the neighborhood. I managed to clean up from all the “learning” — tidy the toys, vacuum, wipe down some surfaces — and make myself a decent lunch before they got home. Nick put Jane down for nap immediately and put a movie on for Desi to have “rest time” on the couch with lights out. This bought me/us our “union break” from parenting for the next hour. I did more dishes.
We are going through so much food, it feels like. I chopped up a whole pineapple Sunday night and it’s almost gone. Nick says maybe I’m just more aware of how much we’re going through because we are trying to limit shopping trips or anticipate grocery supply being affected locally. All I know is that it was somewhat possible, though not pleasant to keep on top of dishes when it was just mostly dinner dishes and bottles. It’s Sisyphean now. Three meals a day plus snacks for four people.
This house doesn’t have a dishwasher and we’ve been dragging our feet about remedying that because of cost. There’s not a spot for a dishwasher so we need a contractor to tear out some cabinetry and install one. Several weeks ago, anticipating a freelance check to come through, I got a contractor to come out and quote the job and we ordered a dishwasher online to be delivered. I hope that sometime in the next week, we get the enter the late 20th century with the rest of you and enjoy a home dishwashing machine. That would be a quarantine miracle.
And now, my interview with Jenn, who has had to indefinitely suspend her planned embryo transfer (CW: infertility):"
Hi who are you?
I am 34 years old, and I'm an attorney currently working for the federal government in Ohio. My "infertility" journey technically started in September 2018. After my husband and I got married in March 2018, we began trying right away. My husband is 38 and has some underlying health issues, so we only waited a short amount of time before seeing a fertility specialist since we thought that maybe those were the reasons why we were having trouble. After a bunch of tests, everything came back "perfect" for both of us and we were diagnosed with Unexplained Infertility, which is a fun way of doctors saying "we have no idea what is wrong with you." We completed 4 medicated cycles with Timed Intercourse and injections, and 3 IUI procedures with injections before we decided to move on to IVF.
How long ago did you move to IVF?
We started talking with our fertility doctors about IVF in about March 2019 before our last IUI cycle.
There were a lot of false starts and stops between March 2019 and when I did my first egg retrieval in September 2019. We switched fertility clinics, and I kept having reactions to the medications leading up to the actual procedure (such as developing ovarian cysts, etc.) which caused a lot of waiting in between deciding to start and actually getting to move forward.
I know you ended up with some dank lil embryos though. Those guys have been on ice since...October?
Yep, exactly. I was actually really lucky and had a great response to the medication. We ended up with 7 PGS tested embryos that are currently on ice since October 2019.
What does PGS mean?
Pre-Implantation Genetic Screening. After they take the eggs out and combine them with the sperm, there is a waiting period to see if the embryos continue to "develop" appropriately. On Day 5 after the embryos are created, if there are any surviving, they send them off to a lab to do a biopsy on the embryos to check for any genetic abnormalities that could cause the embryo to not implant or develop properly. The good side: it increases your likelihood of a successful pregnancy. The bad side: it's harder to get the embryos to that stage, and it's an extra expense on top of an already expensive procedure
Got it, thank you. So then what factors went into not transferring immediately? Wanting to give your body a break?
Yes. We had to wait anyway because the PGS testing takes about a month to complete, so we would have had to wait anyway. We also wanted to give my body a break from all the medication and come down off of hormones. By this point in October 2019, we had been trying for 1 year and 7ish months, and I was really tired. Infertility makes you a little insane, and I was taking so many vitamins, watching what I ate, working out a specific way, etc. and I just needed a break. (And I wanted to get a tattoo, ha!)
So march was your planned transfer month, yeah?
Yeah, originally planned to transfer in March.
Tell me about your communications with your clinic/providers in the last week.
Yes, they're delaying/cancelling all cycles in my clinic.
Basically, everything changes by the day/hour. There are a lot of unknowns right now with literally every industry. At first, we were told not to worry about anything and that our cycle would still move forward. Then it was, well, you can move forward but just know that your transfer might be cancelled. Now it is that they don't want to do any transfers for at least the next month.
With a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET), there is a lot of medication involved as well as follow up appointments for the first 10 weeks after transfer, and we don't yet have a lot of evidence as to how COVID-19 affects mothers in the first trimester. Plus, there is a higher risk for ectopic pregnancy, etc. and you don't want to be going into the hospital for ectopic surgery when the hospital is overrun already with other patients
How are you feeling?
It's definitely put me in a weird place, for sure. This whole process I've been used to disappointment, but this is new. Instead of looking inward or cursing at my body, I'm looking at the world burning around me.
I feel like after every failure I looked at my body like "Fucking SERIOUSLY? AGAIN?" and so honestly, in some ways I'm thinking "Well, of course right as I'm about to transfer there's a global pandemic with no end in sight. Checks out."
Ugh. I’m sorry.How are you envisioning the path forward? There's so much we don’t know about how long we're in for.
Yeah, exactly. I've even got some insider information because my sister is a Reproductive Endocrinologist at another clinic, and she said that they have no idea how long this will last or when they will start doing things again.
Hm weird that your little sister is an MD when you and I are 23 and she's 20. Doogie Howser type situation I guess.
Right?!?! SO WEIRD.
I honestly... don't know what our path forward is. Truly. I'm trying to stay optimistic. I'm actually grateful we have embryos on ice right now and we were not doing an IVF cycle. I'm 34. Hopefully things get back to normal in the next 2 years?
Were you able to get your tattoo?
Yes!
WHAT?! Text me a pic, how did I miss this
Ahh! Sorry, I got it and basically the world blew up a week later. My depresh has been... not great.
How are you managing it? If at all?
Meds! It is my first time on Zoloft.
I do yoga, writing, meditation as well. That's what helped me through the last year with IVF. However, once the world caught on fire I called my doctor and was like MED ME UP. Once the world caught on fire and my transfer was indefinitely delayed I should say, haha.
Is there anything else about your experience that you want to share?
This is going to sound horrible, but it is kind of nice being child-free in the apocalypse. It's basically a stay-cation. I am taking a lot of naps, writing, learning to play video games.
I mean, yeah I'm sad as shit obviously, and I do wish I had a baby to snuggle, but also sort of grateful I am not trying to fill the time with how to entertain a baby.
I was wondering if it was painful to hear people complain about being stuck with their kids.
Well, yeah. But mostly in the abstract. Also so many people saying "WOW IN 9 MONTHS THERE WILL BE SO MANY NEW BABIES.” [My husband] is having a really hard time. Being a teacher and coaching is his Thing, and not being able to do that is really, really hard for him.
I also think that was our way of coping with not having kids. We don't have our own but we both get to be around kids a lot. Even just babysitting for friends, etc. And we can't do that now. For... indefinitely? Super cool and fun time when your small business is Sports for Kids.
THANKS JENN I LOVE YOU
yr mate,
Evie
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